Charlie Brown Christmas Dance

Quasi-Kevin Feltner; plus, pseudo-Dr. Grenier

   
   "Quasi-Kevin Feltner; plus, pseudo-Dr. Grenier"
   
   1st Amendment.  Everything allowed save clear and present danger, fighting words, and if it's ambiguous, always allowed.  I'm always ambiguous, or am I?
   Did you enjoy being in league with crooked attorneys?  False testimony with the sheriff's department?  Having 9-millimeters closer than a foot from my mother's head?  That is elder abuse, to the raw bone of it all.  Did you enjoy torturing my mother?  Yes, I think you did.
   You're watching me; indeed, but they're watching you watch me.  I'm "pretty smart" quasi-Kevin Feltner?  I'm in your wife's hole, which one, I don't understand myself.  It could be her ear, her nose, her urethra, but--I'm in there.  How does it feel?  Whose is the fool now?  My Mother says hello.  Have you met my Mother?  Do you want to screw Her?  The Virgin Mary has great legs, but only I can glare upon them, for I am not Freud, or better words, the devil.  But the devil is your father, the father of lies and murder, as it is written by the Author of Life.  He invented the hamburger.
  I telepathically communicate with Putin.  Possibly.  He is watching you.  I'm no traitor, but I know a goddamn friend.  Trump is my father, allegorically.  He taught me how to fight.  How to label you, as you have labelled me, but--no longer.
   I'm you're only chance at sanity.  Then why do you read this?  Are you addicted to me?  Does your wife lust after my atomic rod?  Possibly.  
   I'm "pretty smart."  No.  I'm not.  But the devil is your father.  Relax, it's all a metaphor.  And you bald-headed crook, pseudo-lawman.  Don't make my Mother give you colon cancer.  She has ice water in Her veins.  Wouldn't you?  You murdered Her Son, right in front of Her; next, hung Him on a Cross, and gambled for His garments, as King David knew 1,000 years before.  If only you were Hebrew.  It is good to be a member of the Tribe.  Even, if only a Levite.  

USA: They bury us from within

   
   "USA:  They bury us from within"
   
   I break bread with a black dude every two months.  He has two jobs.  Has a wife and kids--I've met them.  Good man.  Good family.  And yet Maxine Waters wants to make him a slave all over.  Who has his hand up that educated woman's ass.  Putin.  He is the puppet master.  Brilliant.  Strong.  And as deadly as they make them.  Thank God for Trump.  He's a killer too, metaphorically.
   Went to the bank yesterday.  Not like years ago.  Now the banker wants to cut off my head.  I see his little eyes want to make me a Crusader again, as were my fathers.  He smiles wickedly at me.  Attempts to make me stumble.  Comes to my goddamn country, only in order to kill me.  You reject President Elect?  You little phony-educated snobs.  Go to Iran and hug them.  I dare you.  They'll cut off your head and sodomize your hippie beads so quick that you won't know what the fuck hit you.
   Putin is laughing Maxine Waters.  He's your allegorical daddy, Maxine Waters.  He owns you and your millions.  
   Are blacks better athletes?  I played goddamn ball for 5 years, numerous fractures, blackouts, and with cool black dudes.  They're not better athletes--just men, like all of us.  Don't believe me?  Then match Obama against Putin in a cage match.  It wouldn't last a second.  Put your Messiah, Obama, up against Putin--man to man.  We'll see who the better athlete is.
   So, keep talking Maxine Waters.  You're doing everything Putin is telling you to do, allegorically.  

Mighty Dave King

   
   "Mighty Dave King"

   My biological father, pure Nordic, hair as blonde as the Sun, and eyes as blue as the Arctic Ocean itself.  They told me to hate him for screwing a whore.  A whore that assisted in his death.  Too bad, I know who she is--the devil, and there are many devils among us, whispering charms into our ears, flattering us with their wicked lips, all in order to emasculate us.
   My Dad slapped me in the face.  It was my best moment.  I love him for slapping me.  It was goddamn beautiful.  He didn't discharge no pussy.
   Played college ball.  Took on men twice his size.  Numerous concussions, and he loved every minute of it.  Pain is good.  It lets you know that you are alive.  Embrace the pain.  Love it.
   Too, he wrote code.  Put computers into rockets, more or less.  And never bragged of it.  So meek and gentle, never giving himself credit, unless it was too instruct me.
   He sat me down, saying:  "Mark, you think you've done drunk-driving.  No, I've done drunk-driving.  You think you had girls.  No, I had girls, every single one I wanted."  Good for him.  You will not take my father from me, nor the lessons he taught.  You already did.  And now--Dave King is back.  And he'll screw the whore that stole everything from him and his son, right up the ass.  Good for him.  Go get them father.  Now and forever.  

Heathcliff (intro)

Cranberries Zombie ( lyrics )

Randall "Tex" Cobb

   
   "Randall "Tex" Cobb"
  
   Tex, one big dude; plus, he had spirit, a deadly combination, was boxing in Vegas and became drunk punch.  The ref went up to him, asking him if he knew where he was.  Tex said:  "Yeah, I'm getting my ass kicked in Vegas."  Good man.  Pretty damn good.  I get my ass kicked everyday, and I love every minute of it, but not when you sleazeballs kick the ass of the innocents.  I'm not innocent; I've been a bad boy.  So, keep it coming.
   The sea hag and the naughty nurse are always in wicked synergy.  It has been written.  The naughty nurse is preggers, and I didn't even have to touch her.  Check it out--you're having my baby.  How dare you bring filth into my Father's House!!!  Go to your pagans, you pussies--you damn delinquent redskins!  And, like I've said before, I love the American Indian.  I've went down on an American Indian.  She loved every minute of it, and she was clean as a whistle, and gorgeous.  I revere her to this day.  She is honest, living in truth, and better than all of you schmucks who attempt to enslave her--hear me NAACP--don't touch the American Indian, for you are the ones trying to make them slaves.  
   I talked to the devil this morning.  I told him that he wears the DUNCE hat, for all the ages.  The jokes on him.  What souls does he get.  The shysters.  He gets to hang out with Hillary Clinton, Bubba, the Obama family, many members of my pseudo-family, and all the power hungry, like the Guild of Thieves--attorneys.  You know why attorneys don't get hemorrhoids?  They're perfect assholes.  
   I talk to one of my plenty of fathers everyday--his name is G. Gordon Liddy.  He tells me:  "Don't be such a pussy, Mark."  That's one of my names, but I go by many.  The Rand Corporation and their remote viewers can't crack me.  For I'm the Virgin Mary Herself--the Mirror of Justice.  Or maybe I'm not.  No, I'm just pulling your leg.  Or am I?  Thank God for America you NFL losers.  You know what the NFL is an acronym for?  Not fucking long.  
   My Grandma Bertha's people gave Blitzkrieg.  Lighting War.  Took over Poland in one day.  What did the polish woman do when she won the gold medal?  She had it bronzed.  
   I'm pig-shit Irish.  And I love it.  Plus, German, Serb, Swedish--hell, I'm a jumble of proportional paradoxes.  My Dad told me that I had no right to watch Notre Dame football.  He said I'm a mutt, and I never listen.  But I do.  To God.  Is it illegal to be a Catholic?  To believe a cracker is the ultimate power in the Multiverse?  Is my Priest brainwashing people and stealing their money?  You tell me.  Lock him up.  I dare you.  Take his Freedom of Religion, as you attempted to take mine; indeed, too bad I live in America.  The Greatest goddamn country there ever was.  I'm a killer, metaphorically.  I have a beautiful genitalia, metaphorically.  And yes, I'm crazy, allegorically.  Or is there truth in me?  Just an aspect.  Hell, you spit on the garbage man when God came as a mere tradesman.  The trick is on you.  Christ, uneducated, poor, lived with His Mom, and was better than all of you schmucks.  You hate Him.  I know it.  I totally know it.  Because you know, He is better than you'll ever be.  I love every minute of Him.  Is it illegal to say He is my Lord?  Gonna lock me up again for talking to Jesus?  Face it--you hate Him.  You dirty shysters hate Him.  
   I'm gonna talk to my pal now, have a cigarette with him--I mentioned him yesterday--his name is Huckleberry Hound.  He's blue.  He's just a dog.  A nice dog.  I used to watch him as a child in the 1970's.  It's nice to be nice.  It's nice to be a child.  I'm just teasing.  And remember King David's wise words:  "God made leviathan for sport."  This is America.  She is gorgeous.  Please, don't steal Her from me.  She even loves you.  She loves us all.  And I weep when you say we have no rights, for America tells the truth.  She says we have every right.  Even a right to be weird.  God Bless America.  I'm just teasing.  I'm a frightened little man is all.  Or am I?