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"Ulcerative Colitis & Avocado; plus, Chocolate Banana"
Gastro-Strange Physicians have many times been vociferously imperative in mentioning to me: "Diet doesn't matter." After a mere week in remission, you think you're miraculously fixed; next, a juicy steak sandwich with horseradish; then, you wake up with a bastardly dagger in your gut and evacuation of bloody fecal matter. Plus, you gotta swallow eight horse-sized pills everyday, throwing up a little in your moist mouth as you do so.
To these people (such as myself), armed with assholes that give the mirror image of blown out flat tires--I proclaim: "Eat an avocado. Approximately 4 grams of mild yet effective fiber, high fat content for a respectable body mass, and maybe an anti-oxidant or two. Then, there's the frozen, chocolate-smeared banana. Very nice. Though--they kinda bind me; as a result, dip in a bit of organic flax seed, and a halfway decent poop magically appears the next day, hopefully not in your Captain America Boxer Shorts. Yes, sometimes--we all want to be somebody else."
