Crystalline Cool (34)

   
   "Crystalline Cool (34)"
  
   3 + 4 = 7.  Weird Chief Mojo Rising.  Brother against brother.  Civil War.  Suspicious and being aloof--these quasi-axioms considered within all the metaphysical aspects of numerology concerning the number 7.   
   Anyway, Dad, the pensioner or old leather man as he dubbed himself was experiencing a SINCERE ANAL ITCH; plus, he couldn't sit for a week due to pain; furthermore, when he did itch the pain, having an unearthly desire to scratch at it, or rub his buttocks on the carpeted floor like a dog--blood would flow from between his butt cheeks, not much, but enough of an amount to make him worry; therefore, he went to a modern physician, knowing all doctors are not true doctors; moreover, most are Bush League capitalists being only pseudo-physicians with a hostile contempt for ObamaCare; regardless, the old man wasn't gonna find a Princeton Graduate in this part of Oklahoma, one having boldly attended ARMY ROTC--that Ivy League School still proud of the military.
   After waiting a full hour and a half with contagious patients sneezing their twenty feet of germs across the waiting room, the former Apache Chief was called into the examining room, and after a curvaceous nurse with a nice ass took his vitals, a bulky man with a dandy mustache entered, asking him to remove his trousers and get onto the examining table; specifically, in the position of a dog, and that his anal cavity would undergo empirical investigation by way of human eyes and a potent flashlight.      
   The old man did so, and the physician entered, shockingly stating:  "Holy Fire!  Looked like you had mushrooms growing out of there at first, but that's psoriasis buddy--skin cells having accumulated into toxic scales that itch like shit.  And, do you wipe?"
   Old leather man said:  "Use 2 ply toilet paper."
   Anyway, after being prescribed ApexiCon cream and using it for a few days--the pain and itch persisted; thus, the Little Wolf loaded up Roadkill into his truck and went to see his old friend, an Apache medicine man--should've listened to his heart and went there first. 
   As it was Christmas Season, the medicine man said burning white sage into his anal cavity wouldn't be appropriate; hence, he gave him some myrrh, as did the Magi give to the Christ Child; plus, it might have intoxicating and calming effects, which is healthy when what is between your butt cheeks is on holy fire.
   Back home, not even thinking about his crusading son Duncan at the moment, the Little Wolf ignited the myrrh; next, stripped naked and squatted over the burning incense, letting the holy smoke kill the dermal demon, which was up and within, Roadkill watching in canine wonder.
   "Shut up stupid dog; I can read your laughing face like a clown selling hamburgers."  And the Chief went back to feeling the smooth cool of the archaic treatment.