Crystalline Cool (38)

   
   "Crystalline Cool (38)"
   
   Duncan wasn't happy--at first.  Saint Nicholas had come to him with some gingerbread men--healthy for bowel function, and said that the young man's Christmas gift was:  to be exiled in Florida; specifically, Saint Vincent Island, but it was named by the Franciscans, and they had some red wolves (Canis rufus), which are an endangered species in the United States of America, being a mix of coyote and wolf.    
   Duncan simply asked:  "Why?"
   Saint Nicholas responded:  "To get in touch with your RED.  The South equals passion and heat; moreover, you never know--you might pick up serpents, for there are plenty of gators down there, and don't worry, Tebow played for the Gators and he's a cool Christian.  So, just chill.  Ho!  Ho!  Ho!"
   Duncan said his farewell to Saint Nicholas, not understanding; next, Rudolph approached Duncan on the launching pad, saying with a sparkly nose:  "I'll be your La Santa Maria to the New World--you can just hop on my back, and we'll have a mystical synergy that will mesh our union of safety during fast flight."
   What could Duncan do?  Get a little shanty maybe, and somehow purchase a re-designed, lime-green KX 200 that was street legal.  And are there any ditches to be dug on an island?  Oh well, sometimes you gotta listen to Santa, even though he's not God, being capable of mistakes, but possibly, driving one to make it snow in the most scalding of atmospheres.