"A song for Jango Fett"
INTRO:
Jango Fett
Was not in spiritual debt;
Moreover, he didn't need a Jedi-forged Lightsaber,
Nor did he nastily desire Princess Leia in her slave-girl suit as Jabba's party favor;
Specifically, Jango was just as tough as Darth Vader,
Having held more than his own with Obi-Wan Kenobi's turquoise-hued saber;
Indeed, Jango didn't succumb or need mind tricks and fancy flips,
But only self-confidence and to draw his laser pistols swift from his hips.
Verily, Jango Fett had never met
Any Jedi that with he'd lose a bet,
For Jango was a simple man through and through,
Strong as a RANCOR because he forced himself to
Be tough and courageous no matter what,
Not minding that his genes were to be cloned though he might be a Mandalorian mutt;
Furthermore, this is a tale of Jango before
Mace Windu opened up Heaven's Door,
And mind you--that if Jango would've had both pistols and his jet-pack,
Mr. Swift to violence "Windu" would've been blasted, and Jango's head still intact--
Now wends a saga before Boba was born,
When Jango Fett fought against the stink of scorn
Upon a green Moon named Ooba,
Where did croon space celebrities on many a robotic guitar and tuba--
Like this,
Jango did KISMET kiss . . .
"Her Austerity Requires No Overhaul"
Hubris haunts her NOT--
American Freedom should be wise enuff to allow legal pot;
Regardless, a quasi-ascetic ornamented with crayon-like pimples,
She mystically moves without revealing her nipples;
Moreover, not bought and sold by many bills showcasing Grover Cleveland,
For she is secure by way of her boyfriend's Nashville Predator wedding band.
"Salut The Late Late Show"
Six-packing till labor by necessity morningways,
Spent in the 1990's while imbibing Tom Snyder's rainbow-hued airwaves;
Specifically, Baa Baa Black Sheep strolling Central Park @ night to chisel martial arts,
Or Spaceman forging maple syrup while releasing brilliant, literary farts,
And Mr. Blake communicating with lizards under rocks,
Spying mystic television like the elusive, uncanny fox.
"Multiversal Mutt (4) Sports for utopia"
Franny politely piloted the Junkyard Bone to the crescent Moon. Jerky lifts his leg in the acquiesce of a humbled litter box. They view Mother Earth within the gleam of internal cockpit light--and wonder . . .
FRANNY
Blue for sorrow, for peace--
JERKY
For your freaky hair--you appear Jokerish. And no hilarity about goading United States into frivolous war to boast of muscle--everybody knows--saw C. Thomas Howell in RED DAWN.
FRANNY
I hate to semi-quote Pounding, but: There died a myriad, and of the best among them--for a botched civilization--for an old bitch gone in the teeth.
JERKY
Sports! Sports! Sports! Contact too--like a dry hump. Mandela knew to get in the ring, or piss yourself on da turf instead of being a tool. That's how to release the seed during utopia. Get in da ring! Everybody but United States and Canada fear the pigskin hit.
"Multiversal Mutt (3) Frozen Han Solo"
After deliciously digesting Mister Chicken's cerebral cuisine, Franny and Jerky poke their way back into the Silky Milky Way, anchoring the Junkyard Bone on an asteroid outside of Pluto.
FRANNY
I bet it's colder than Calrissian's carbonite outside.
JERKY
I kept drawing pictures of a frozen Han Solo, compulsively, when I was a pup in doggy school. And I used to put him in water in my dog bowl and freeze him in the fridge. Kenner builds an enduring action figure. My G.I. JOE people always fell apart though--they were screwed together ya see.
FRANNY
I surmise Captain Solo really really liked Princess Leia's buns.
JERKY
A hot dog between 'em would be yummalicious. Plus, with a dab of Miracle Whip it would have some tang.
FRANNY
Gross--you're such a dude Jerky. Looks outside the cockpit. Holy crap--there's an Irish beast laying on an asteroid futon.
"Multiversal Mutt (2) An eye for a kiss"
Beyond the cream of the Milky Way, into the oncoming merge of the Andromeda Galaxy, Franny and Jerky hook-up the Junkyard Bone with the esoteric Sal Monella, her piloted by Mister Chicken--they share food communion and wacky symposium.
MISTER CHICKEN
Why do them hens think I wanna engage in getting laid for an egg?
JERKY
Yup--every pup not want to tame tail. Some are there just cause firm, symmetrical, and motherly milkshakes brought 'em to da yard.
FRANNY
So true guys; next, if you don't give it to a wanting female--she selfishly invokes demonic revenge; as a result--just hold up a magical mirror to them; reptiles hate noticing themselves.
"Multiversal Mutt"
Dramatis Personae
FRANNY: Catholic girl from L.A., tempted by Goth girl wardrobe from the 20th Century; however, remained iconically cool, shopping at Walmart before her evolution into the Junkyard Bone, a Moon-forged cargo ship armed with a dairy bar.
JERKY: A complicated configuration of every canine, birthed in the Otherworld, yet constantly fluxing within the Creamy Milky Way. Too, like all canines, telepathic; plus, has an intrinsic love for all friendly, honest creatures.
Leaving the Moon's potential for mining, without pissing off the inhabitants and spiritual forces of geology, Franny pilots the Junkyard Bone through the rings of Saturn.
FRANNY
I really dig chocolate and Kristy Swanson as BUFFY, but the strawberries and cream shake is as yummy as the mocha.
JERKY
Got milk--nope!?! Maybe a milk-bone . . .
FRANNY
Thank the stars President Obama nuked the Moon in the early 21st Century--that old piece of rock has potential to feed the Earth.
JERKY
Read my mind--c'mon, c'mon, try Franny. Sing or say what I'm thinking.
FRANNY
Crap. Ok--chicken pecking is first in line--lead with your head and recline. Too, you really enjoyed television during the Carter Administration. And no--he didn't have a peanut picture stamped on the hood of his automobile.
JERKY
Now, now too. What am I thinking girl?
FRANNY
God spank the Queen! Really loudly.
JERKY
Reagan built the MX monster, as big as King Kong. Freaked the hell outta the Soviet Union.
FRANNY
British, not all, are infected by the snobbery of reptilians God Bless 'em. Christ was too deliciously kind to kill snakes. Just yet anyway . . .
JERKY
You're getting good at this.
FRANNY
And all I know is that my mutt is really freaking weird. Oh shit, the rings of Saturn look like little stones.
JERKY
Bones!?! You said it out loud--I didn't really hear you.
