Love Contrivance (16)

   
   "Love Contrivance (16)"
   
   I don't know how it happened; specifically, beyond serendipity, but like Dick Van Dyke doing a Disney dance, or Mary Poppins and the Mr. Magoo umbrella float--it freaking happened.
   I was at BURGER KING, eating a supposedly grilled hamburger, and Ai was with me--like a date or something.  She had silky, almost blue-black tinted hair, appeared twenty-eight, but was really forty-two, and she wasn't using chop sticks for her french fries.
   She explained to me that she usually only ate protein bars with soy; also, bananas, noodles, and lots of vegetables with the occasional, non-angry chicken.  Plus, that the KANJI was a sort of logograph, used as an artistically written set of a great many characters, while the HIRAGANA was a Japanese syllabary--that's as far as she got on her culture, her raised in Tennessee; moreover, she did mention that she was a Black Belt in Judo, and a Green Belt in Korean Taekwondo; plus, she voiced that she feverishly fancied 1980's ninja movies, Ronald Reagan, and practicing shadow knife-boxing, whatever the hell that was.  Said to always cut a man over the eyes, that way, he'll bleed in his eyes and become blinded; next, you can kick the shit out of him.
   I should have been terrified.  But heck, I liked her.  She was talking to me, knew that I was a paperboy, and even bought me the burger.  I just couldn't help imagine her father decapitating me with an angry katana--not the kind made by Suzuki.