Friday, August 12, 2016

Love Contrivance (19)

   
   "Love Contrivance (19)"
   
   Ai called me on her Smart Horn, doing the digital dial, and I sweetly surrendered to her robotic suavity and sounds, agreeing to meet her for some Mexican food.
   On the phone, she displayed a sense of humor, though derogatory in a sense of slur, saying:  "What did the Polack do after winning the gold medal?  He bronzed it."
   I liked the Polish Women's Volleyball Team in them Olympics down in Rio, where the mosquito is a real unpleasant pest.  Wasn't much into the swimming, but the rugby was fascinating, as it should be to all of us Americans witnessing, with thirsty hunger, the gladiatorial act of true football.
   So, I lifted Grandma, wiped her hugely stinky rear-end, put her in a diaper, lit her cigarette with an ashtray placed underneath her mild cognizance, and went to meet the lovely, though machine-like Ai.  

Love Contrivance (18)

   
   "Love Contrivance (18)"
   
   I, Simon Swiss, wasn't aware of Mr. Teruma.  Anyway, Teruma was Ai's father.  He'd been watching and monitoring me by way of crystals and copper; plus, mechanical devices and such.
   Furthermore, he had fantastically forged Ai in his subterranean laboratory.  A homemade basement in the suburbs of Franklin; specifically, Ai was Artificial Intelligence, an android, but not fully armed with consciousness, but fully animated by conscience.  Teruma did outshine the rest of the underground creators by way of caring for the welfare of Adamkind.  
   Having a premonition about this--I pondered further psychiatric intervention; alas, I folded, not having the money; nevertheless, as art and metaphor had been crafted thousands of years ago for the watching man's futurity, I took hold of the philosophy of it all--embraced the ancients.
   Having a quasi-Terminator, programmed for love and adoration of the One it was made to protect, well, that contrivance, that gadget of good will, well again--it was all cool.  

Love Contrivance (17)

   
   "Love Contrivance (17)"
   
   Enjoying my time with Ai @ the BURGER KING, I treated her to a large SPRITE that only ran a buck with nine cents--Diamond Jim Brady, right?  Hell, I delivered newspapers.
   Early on, before the specter of death took Dad, he would bully me concerning my job.  This isn't good enough, you're a loser, working a job for losers; next, I explained to him how Homer Simpson worked at a nuclear power plant, and there was no bigger loser than that animated dude, blistering with bravado, and not able to handle his own offspring.
   But I strayed from shrinks and their medication, not having the health insurance to cover the mighty anti-psychotics, medicating myself with meditation, and now:  enjoying my time with the lovely Ai.  
   She sipped her SPRITE with lady-like sophistication, playing no parts, wearing no masks from the iniquitous, ancient gallery.  It was a breath of fresh air.
   Then, I realized:  GRANDMA!!!
   Courage commanding:  I kissed Ai on the forehead, got her SMART HORN number, and bolted homewards in my mighty Road Runner--though, I've been the dog they all tried to beat.
   Grandma was sitting in her wheelchair watching the LONE RANGER, puffing away on tobacco, and upon my entrance blurted:  "Well it's about time Mr. Simon Swiss."  

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Love Contrivance (16)

   
   "Love Contrivance (16)"
   
   I don't know how it happened; specifically, beyond serendipity, but like Dick Van Dyke doing a Disney dance, or Mary Poppins and the Mr. Magoo umbrella float--it freaking happened.
   I was at BURGER KING, eating a supposedly grilled hamburger, and Ai was with me--like a date or something.  She had silky, almost blue-black tinted hair, appeared twenty-eight, but was really forty-two, and she wasn't using chop sticks for her french fries.
   She explained to me that she usually only ate protein bars with soy; also, bananas, noodles, and lots of vegetables with the occasional, non-angry chicken.  Plus, that the KANJI was a sort of logograph, used as an artistically written set of a great many characters, while the HIRAGANA was a Japanese syllabary--that's as far as she got on her culture, her raised in Tennessee; moreover, she did mention that she was a Black Belt in Judo, and a Green Belt in Korean Taekwondo; plus, she voiced that she feverishly fancied 1980's ninja movies, Ronald Reagan, and practicing shadow knife-boxing, whatever the hell that was.  Said to always cut a man over the eyes, that way, he'll bleed in his eyes and become blinded; next, you can kick the shit out of him.
   I should have been terrified.  But heck, I liked her.  She was talking to me, knew that I was a paperboy, and even bought me the burger.  I just couldn't help imagine her father decapitating me with an angry katana--not the kind made by Suzuki.    

Love Contrivance (15)

   
   "Love Contrivance (15)"
   
   And yes, I practiced parts of my Southern Catholicism, especially in invoking the Angels and Saints to pray for Grandma and her elderly condition.  And my dreams were a bit bizarre, but not without sublimity, thinking:  Rob Roy doth protest, not the cocktail, and a red-hued pubic hair, so on fire, even if from a Saint, possibly, a Holy Relic--ya never know.
   I jumped from my disturbing daytime snooze.  Got up, put on proper wear for the autumn's arrival, totally khaki pants, always, and checked on Grandma, eating some grapes, able to have mobility in the morning and lift herself to her own wheelchair--things were happening.
   Next, I went out into the afternoon breeze, underneath the azure noon with a daystar igniting my internal energy, cranked the Road Runner to a tongue-sticking life, and beep beep--I was out of there.
   At the gas station, again with eatery convenience, I picked up a nutty candy bar, and watched as a Japanese girl outside flipped a dude over.  I rushed to the scene, but she was already on her Smart Horn, had dialed 9/11, and was telling how she was almost mugged, but her Judo saved her, telling the emergency operator her name was Ai, and that:  "When your enemy comes, welcome him; when he goes, send him on his way."  And it was all cool.  

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Love Contrivance (14)

   
   "Love Contrivance (14)"
   
   Was the middle of the night, as they say--them nocturnal hours when the midnight owls poked their mystical orbs of gold out, and all the coyotes' eyes became ignited ever-lasting, like eternal survival in the headlights, them usually making a dash to an American safari of safety, most of the time.
   In the Franklin area warehouse, I was rolling newspapers next to Wally--the front page was showcasing some Pop-Culture crap not worthy of mentioning, and Wally with the wisdom was running @ the mouth, informing:  "Hell boy, they found a nuclear base in Greenland from when Reagan wanted to protect us from the Soviets and aliens.  I know they've found the thang, that's totally right:  THE THANG--in Antarctica.  My brother-in-law has been to every Continent but Antarctica.  Hell, even Al Gore and his prized bull galloped down to Antarctica one time.  Plus, them Volunteers are ranked 10th in the college football polls.  Big Orange gonna do it, or come close this year."
   I thought to mention that I liked Notre Dame.  Didn't bother.  Old Wally was on a roll.  And it seemed that the newsprint never knew when to stop.  Like all of us.  Oh well, till death do us part save for the nice ones.      

Love Contrivance (13)

   
   "Love Contrivance (13)"
   
   Simon Swiss was like, to his darling cousin Lucy's lifetime existence-plan:  "We've all seen Elvis Presley in the film released around 1964, KISSIN' COUSINS; moreover, your husband and guard dogs wouldn't like a creepy cousin hanging around--though it might be fun.  But I can't leave Grandma; I can't give myself what I have left of a life, not if it means incarcerating her, where they give you bloody enemas and don't let you use tobacco products." 
   Did you just say that all in italics, how 1990's and  retro-like and cutely cliche, with them fingers up, really dude?  Yeah, Simon figured he could hear Lucy through a state of terrifying telepathy; nevertheless, what her corporeal mouth sweetly offered was:  "You're a nice old man Simon.  You always got Grandma and me.  Just don't lay the stress on--take Jumblers to the park and give her a bone, for every dog can have many days."