Rumblitis--Chapter Six

 
   As always--my books:  King's Books! 
  
   SIX:
  
   Ray Rumble's wasted reality was never more dangerously distorted than now--being alive in this flat-surfaced Earth, years from today the brain's intrepid growth revealing our well-crafted souls to be the agony and imagery of being within an ethereal microchip intellectually stashed within the beastly belly of a super computer--possibly.  Regardless, Ray, after his mystical cruise with the Living Christ, now horizontal on the spinning intoxication of a living room couch, like leathery butter, depressing the blue-hued body of Krishna as he adores the tortured nature of cows; still, Ray accepted his varying failures, brainstorming the worst suffering of men, like this:  5 Worst Human Catastrophes:
  
   1.)   Facial Mutilation--dubbed "Men With Broken Faces" during World War 1, dealing with having to face the severity of burns, chimpanzee ruination, or tumor growth destroying the central location of countenance known as the Nasal Cavity.
   2.)   Genital Distortion--whether testicular cancer, or worse, penile leprosy, forcing the agonizing amputation of the fleshy shaft; also, women within the African Continent enduring the thieving of their orgasmic clitoris'.
   3.)   Kidney Stones--especially if the size of a razor-edged walnut and in the urinary tract of a male, like giving birth to a bloody tragedy, having to painfully piss razor blades till anguish overwhelms, forcing the need of God-Blessed opiates to reduce the feverish pain.
   4.)  American Capitalism--incarcerates every singular soul into the random flux of schoolyards and 9 to 5 laboring for the diabolical dues of offering taxes to "The Man" without questioning such omnipotent authority; otherwise, become a street bum, get arrested for vagrancy, and cope with sodomy at the hands of the American Prison System.
   5.)   An Adulterous Wife--this, psychologically punishes the potency of man, for nothing is a larger monster than having to deal with another man's behemoth genitalia being inserted into your favorite dame, star-bursting the literal construction of Irish-Spawned ULYSSES; also, cerebrally castrating your carnal confidence, reducing men to masturbating goblins.
  
   Alas, men suffer more than women unless she is overly obese and denied the gazing attention of a twinkle located in the orbs of the other sex--thank God for Dr. Oz and his altruistic compassion towards the wide woman defamed by having Junk In The Trunk.   Though not mentioned, Ray also knew that a 20 inch tapeworm located within the anatomical residence of the large intestine always offers tragic turmoil; as a result, thank God, and he did, for living in Jehovah's Country, Montana allowing medical marijuana that soothes the suffering of anxiety-ridden cowboys dealing with mental demons and the chronic, gore-splattered diarrhea associated with the crimson circumstance known as Ulcerative Colitis.
   Indeed, marijuana grants numerous explosions of physiological reactions, being an anti-oxidant (like smoking broccoli), an anti-inflammatory, a mild amphetamine, a benign tranquilizer, a sublime pain killer, and a non-freakish hallucinogen--none of these pure, chemical reactions overwhelming the user, yet offering smooth solace for almost any medical condition, never being a gateway to the evil of Crystal Meth, yet the miraculous wonder of Mother Nature, blessing a body cursed with the cruel reality of human pain.  So legalize and tax cannabis; next, pay off the Chinese and architect a better Health Care System without the legal insistence of ObamaCare, though Democrats are not brave enough to prescribe that which offered peace to Jack Kennedy's War-Torn spinal structure as prescribed by Dr. Feelgood, and Republicans hung up on their lack of knowledge concerning the poetic psalms of King David as mentioned in the King James Bible:  "Herb for the service of man."  Hence, Ray dozed off into a dreamy slumber, his drugs of choice being alcohol and anti-psychotics, these things manipulating a personal mercury into altered states of awesome.