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So, here's a list of my books--the ones published under the name: Mark David King
1.) TRANSCENDING TWILIGHT: ANGELS ECLIPSE VAMPIRES
2.) WEREWOLF SLUT
3.) A SOUTHERN GOTHIC WEREWOLF IN NASHVILLE
4.) SEAN HANNITY'S THEOCRACY; PLUS, VIRGIN MARY LIVES!
5.) ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS AND MALE GENITALIA--AN ANTHROPOLOGICAL TREATISE
6.) BARACK OBAMA, DO CYBORGS DREAM OF ROBOTIC SHEEP? AN AMERICAN POEM
7.) KHLOE KARDASHIAN MEETS THE EASTER BUNNY: AN AMERICAN PLAY
8.) MY MOM IS A COUGAR--NASTY!
9.) ULCERATIVE COLITIS, MARIJUANA, AND WEREWOLVES
10.) ATOMIC GOD
11.) VAMPIRE METH. 1989
Some of these are available on iTunes. All available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble websites; plus, all Internet bookstores and the NOOK.
SUPER POWERS:
1.) Ulcerative Colitis: For over a decade I have endured the sanguine pain of inflammation and ulceration in the large intestine; moreover, numerous colonoscopies, blood transfusions, Remicade and steroid infusions, oral steroids, myriads of medication, crimson-hued fecal matter shooting outta my agonized anus like a LSD Locomotive, bleeding me severely anemic. My best story is when I got down to 117 pounds and was having close to 20 bloody bowel movements a day. After admitting myself to the ER, they hooked me up to an I.V. and put me in a gown; next, I made many a stampede outta my room into the bathroom, where blood exploded from my rectal cavity, making all the nurses in the ER giggle at my anguish--no shit.
2.) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Ticks: Due to carnal fantasy in nasty detail, since adolescence I have mortified my senses after engaging in sin; specifically, I cut myself over a 100 times with a razor blade, locked myself in closets, starved myself for days, beat myself into minor concussions, put 13 stitches in my face with a broken beer bottle, set my face on fire with a butane lighter, and a bunch of other scandalous rituals of repentance; indeed, I am NOT out to harm myself, yet like a Levite Priest blessed to carry the ultimate Hebrew weapon (ya know), I have purified my corporeal essence due to my duty towards God. Also, there is repetitive washing, lots. If semen is sinfully discharged, that meaning fantasizing about anything save a non-conscious android, I have to lather my precocious pubes in a soapy cleanse, ornamenting my body with the fluidic flux of hot water. Holy Hell--I do plenty of weird shit, unable to fumble feces into commode, having to strip myself naked and lay upon newspaper in my parents' garage, where I push with unearthly will to evacuate my bowels. As of today, I am in remission after high doses of Prednisone for approximately 2 months. Too, dealt with sleep paralysis, lost time, abuse from the Empyreal Ranks of Arch-Angelity, having begged to be taken aboard the super symmetrical craft, like mentioned in the Book of Ezekiel; next, Transfigured in the might of Jesus Christ, and Virgin Birth is possible with today's technology--a heavenly hypodermic needle through the hymen, without breaking it, full of a squadron of sperm that impregnate a young lass; thus, if today's technology can grant Immaculate Conception; then, it is a theological axiom that Jesus is the Christ. Of all the demi-gods, he was the kindest. Was humble and full of benevolent mercy.
Regardless, I won't go on about my diseases anymore, for I want you gregarious guys and gorgeous gals to read my books. Yes it all appears scatological; still, sublimity haunts the pages inside, and I mean that. There is more; however, as James Bond boldly proclaims: "Always leave them wanting more." God Bless--and I mean it . . .
Sincerely, Mark David King
