If I Had A Daughter . . .

   Being the patriarch over a daughter usurps the joyous wonder of having had spawned a son; specifically, if you have a son, you don't have to worry about anyone riding them like a jet ski, unless he's incarcerated in a Less Free America everyday.  Regardless, a father raising a daughter is a gut-wrenching venture; alas, when releasing the primordial ooze of carnal discharge within the foundation of a woman's womb, there is always the possibility a daughter will be ignited in this eternal play known as existence.  Her to forever be reincarnated or blissed into awesomeness in consistent fashion, elated perpetually by the soothing comfort of a silky cloud.

   And if I was married and the wife was launching a daughter, vaginal style, into the world, I would insist upon my wife:  "Her first name is going to be Liberty.  And I'll pick the middle name as well--oh, no, sorry honey, you pick the middle name, but the first has to be LIBERTY."  Too, she would keep my Irish surname of King, even after marriage, resonating it onwards to the title of her child as well, for she would be a stronger soul than her husband, this due to the anthropological axiom that her mother is hotter than her husband's mother, or at least I could dream.  Still, the idealism of her in my life would command me for her not to take her husband's name after marriage; she is an independent, altruistic soul, entitled to be the singular leader of her household, if it is her money and good looks that support the family--bread winner I'm talk'n.

   I've been called misogynistic; I like Guns 'n Roses; plus, I once bitch slapped an imaginary female, pretending I was Clint Eastwood in some primate-based movie concerning bare knuckle brawling, for a good man desires fisticuffs in order to having had felt his testicles drop and glisten in the silky comfort of boxer shorts.  And my daughter would wear boxer shorts, though this has been linked to more yeast infections claims the televised wisdom of Dr. Oz, on everyday in Nashville @ 2:00 PM!

   So, if you have a daughter; next, be the ultimate man, and aim her in the direction of machoness as well, though she shouldn't enjoy the endeavor of sex as much as a man, or so you should inform and teach her.  Verily, having a daughter can make a man out of you.  It is the ultimate adventure in matters of biology, and in a spiritual sense, there is always the Virgin Mary and the sublimity of Catholcism, chasing her celibate and into the arms of a benevolent God.

   Also, check out my books:  King's Books!

   Sincerely, Mark David King