Big Bert and Them Lanterns

   
   "Big Bert and Them Lanterns"
   
   My Bio-Mom finished the story about my Bio-Dad that Grandma (Big Bert) used to tell me, when my Patriarch confessed he was swept into a fatal attraction, her threatening:  "I'm not going to be ignored."
   She said that she was going to kill herself if he didn't leave her; next, Big Bert boldly and bluntly voiced:  "Then, let her kill herself."
   The Bio-Mother then said the Patriarch went into his car and wept.  Pap was there.  Stern and disappointed.  
   Fellas, don't let a woman with penis envy enter you.  Once those meat hooks sink deep down, you become her bitch.  King Solomon warns of the harlot with painted eyes, basically saying she will kill you.  Find the girl you dreamed of in your youth, for her bosom will bring true love--all of your days.
   And as King Solomon further mentions:  "A quarrelsome woman is like rain dripping on the roof all day long; moreover, she is olive oil in thy hands."
   Big Bert loved candles; furthermore, loved God, lighting herself up by teaching me to raise my hands like Moses.  And when your hands become tired, a true big brother like Aaron lifts them up to God for you.