Don and Bert

   
   "Don and Bert"
   
   She would always pester, calling:  "Don!  Don!  Don!  I have to get my hair done!"  He would respond, with a Tareyton hanging from his thin lips:  "That's not hair--it's a brillo pad."
   When he'd see her coming out of SAFEWAY with a shopping cart, he'd look over at me and proclaim:  "Bag Lady."
   Over 50 years, and when I resided with them, she was not allowed to talk until 2:00 o'clock--neither was I.  At 2:00, the sounds came alive.  First:  GUIDING LIGHT, the soap opera.  He would tell me:  "All the women on this show are dogs, but Vanessa--she has class."
   She would whimper when watching MacGyver, saying:  "Don, I don't want to see him get hurt."  Next, he would explain:  "Bert, he's the damn star of the show--nothing is going to happen."
   She'd give him his insulin shot in the morning, and all he would say:  "A damn harpoon."
   It was all so perfect, in a way.