Kooky Lucy Frost (4)

   
   "Kooky Lucy Frost (4)"
   
   Beyond the back of the wall, having sat like the protective cowboy Shane and Han Solo, Lucy Frost was invited into the psychiatrist's office, him an older, scholarly-looking man, like a cerebral intellectual from Barney Miller, loving the underground, and not totally trusting the government, unless Harry S. Truman was back in office, and Lucy figured the S. stood for just S; anyway, she entered, ignored the Freudian couch, sitting face to face; next, admitted her internal, kooky lunatic-fringe concerning germs and obese guys making their own gravy; thus, it got quicksand deep--like this:
  
DOCTOR
You have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with Tics, many Social Phobias, and are an uncanny example of yourself, in that you are gifted, but realize it not.

LUCY
What on Earth do you mean?

DOCTOR
Like the Double Helix of DNA, not of this Earth--neither are you, completely.  I'm going to write you a note--do not tell anybody you're going, and I want you to see this physician friend of mine and get your blood-work done.  Like I said, don't tell anyone, or the shadow government will be there before you, and put an implant in; moreover, read the Illuminatus! Trilogy.

LUCY
What on Earth?

DOCTOR
Just do as I say.  And your mental disabilities are actually a gift.  I surmise you might have a weakened immune system; thus, the OCD is being a protective shield of sorts; furthermore, while innate possibilities are possible, so is everything, as energy is transferable.  Don't let negative thoughts inside--trust your intuition, and feel no guilt--the Cross takes away all the guilt, even if you smacked a Nun with a vibrator.  It hangs in the National Library of Congress, the Nazarene description of Jesus by Pilate, yet they smear the surfer Jesus, and make him wear blue jeans, but I like blue jeans.

LUCY
What on Earth?

DOCTOR
Come back in a day, after your blood-work is done; at that time, I will offer you more.  And get your Orthodox ass to eat the Body of Christ.

LUCY
How did you know I was Orthodox?

DOCTOR
The shadow government told me before you entered, but I piss pleasantly on them, fearing no angel, jinn, giant, but only God Himself.  And what is fear of God?  It is hatred.  Hatred of pride, arrogance, and false testimony.

LUCY
What on Earth?  Where did you go to school?

DOCTOR
University of Phoenix--of course . . .