A sneeze, like unto a carnal climax

   
   "A sneeze, like unto a carnal climax"
  
   The most stupid a man looks is when he has a carnal climax.  He looks like a groaning, elated idiot; specifically, he distorts into a deflated weenie of wondrous woes.  
   My step-dad sneezes all the time.  The sneeze travels faster than light-speed.  Wends its way further than a Rugby field.  No pads involved.  And when he sneezes, he enjoys it.  I tell him that he should smoke a cigarette after his multi-orgasmic sneezes, to enjoy the sensation all the more.
   Many a contagious sneeze has killed an infant with a compromised immune system.  Sneeze in your sleeve; next, wash your damn shirt, and put some salt water in the laundry.  
   How long will you have me with you?  Have you not learned?  
   What's wrong with taking a shower, anointing yourself with lavender, burning myrrh (smoke purifies), and putting cloves of garlic in your hamburger meat?  
   I still can't go to TACO BELL.  It just smells like my grandmother's resonating gas, forced out, with the ripple effect, caused by cottage cheese butt-cheeks.  And my grandma would tell ya:  "I'm as clean as a whistle."