Voltaic Junkyard--slovenly simians

   
   "Voltaic Junkyard--slovenly simians"
   
   Adam was restless, worrying how he would afford his next Bic Mac.  Mr. Ronald McDonald, not particularly a salacious clown; however, he had raised the price of America's favorite synergy--cow merged with funky though fabulous filler, for there isn't enough cattle in the world to account for the infinite numbers of hamburgers produced.  So, you can always go salmon farming, or duplicate food, not like the American Indian having a pure hunt; specifically, a clean America, no lung cancer on the record, a life of pure water, herbs, spices, non-antibiotic fed mammals and fowl; indeed, Mexico isn't the only country that is infamous for its crusty crab water, just go to Michigan, or mostly any place in America, where antibiotics and high levels of fluoride and such really do a number on the pseudo-free folk, especially those allergic to fluoride, and many are.  Whatever happened to the silver bullet of colloidal silver?  I guess the modern world prefers the heavy metal of aluminum, liking us to get as much of that shit in us as possible, and preachers still blame rock and roll.  Oh well, the United Nations admits wanting population control.  So, in his sleep, Adam could see his flickering candle spark, and a long-haired angel of strength emerged, glowing electric--he introduced himself as an aspect of the Nazarene, Samson.  

ADAM
Holy crap!  Am I dreaming Mr. Samson?

SAMSON
A lucid dream.  Now listen son--don't be such a wussy like all the American attorneys.  G. Gordon Liddy was the only ass-kicking officer of crooked courts.  And I was a true Judge, not these black-robed pricks today driven by politics, paid off, getting wet panties or pup-tents in their shorts after they sentence a man, and in a supposedly Free Country, where you can't even speak anymore, and touching somebody with a finger is assault--just look at the fragile fruitcakes who forged those unlawful laws.  Back in the 1950's, all cool guys had a heavy right hand.  Sinatra, Dean Martin--they'd just level a dude for speaking mean to a good dame; however, most American women today are trolls and tramps, but that's not my point son.  There will always be chimps.  And remember, of all the mammals on this planet, nothing masturbates with more ferocity than a chimp.  They smile those big monkey teeth and yank with monstrous zeal to further damn themselves.  Boy, was Darwin ever a dumbshit, for the mighty Samson didn't come from those things.  I hate bananas too.

ADAM
What does all this mean?

SAMSON
Go punch out a guy; next, kiss a delicious dame; moreover, always talk to God, take your vitamins, and if you're going to stuff yourself with Big Macs, make sure to put turmeric root on it, and drink plenty of distilled water infused with minerals.  The Body is a Temple--let nothing bad inside, neither the mind nor corporeal aspects.  Get me?  But a hot piece of apple pie is okay every now and then.  

ADAM
Yes sir.

SAMSON
Cool.  And don't conform.  Be your own singular soul, connected only to the Good Ghost of God Almighty.  God Bless you son.  And I'll see you on the flip side.