Liberty's Sparkle (36)

   
   "Liberty's Sparkle (36)"
   
   Faye swept Tom inside the hospital, demanding to find a Catholic priest for him--he freaking needed it, or so she felt her instincts say.  After some heavy debating with a nurse, explaining that he had just lost a child, Tom was escorted to a little chapel inside the hospital, and the priest, a wiry, little man with Larry King glasses sat down across from him near a little altar; next, the twosome engaged in conversation.

PRIEST
I'm sorry for your loss my son.

TOM
I'm not Catholic sir, not really.  I read Mark Twain's Joan of Arc before I dropped out of high school though, and it really affected me.  I learned the Hail Mary in French, and say it as often as possible.

PRIEST
Do you want to be a Catholic?

TOM
Of course.  But I get the shakes around people, especially if there are plenty of them, and going to Mass seems almost impossible.  I have a mental disorder, but my family just thinks I'm a limp and lazy dog.

PRIEST
Are you seeing a physician?

TOM
Yes sir.

PRIEST
Has it helped?

TOM
The medication makes me real sleepy, and sleep terrifies me.  I try not to do it.  Can you help me?  I think I'm evil or there is evil upon me.

PRIEST
Yes, you must become a Catholic.  And this young lady you got pregnant--are you a player, uh, I mean are you into the ladies?

TOM
No sir.  Liberty, my girlfriend--she's the only person I've had intercourse with.  I'm freaked by body fluids, but she made it real simple.  Is super nice and all.  A real charmer, in an altruistic sense.  Do you think I need an exorcism?

PRIEST
Come to my Church, Our Lady of Good Counsel; next, talk to the Monsignor there, he is a fine and compassionate man; moreover, if you attend regularly, an exorcism can be requested by the hierarchy within.

TOM
So, I am possessed?  Tom's face turning green.

PRIEST
No son--I didn't mean that.  Just get all your ducks in a row, okay.  And again, I'm sorry for your loss.