Sunday, January 1, 2017
Loup Soup (11)
"Loup Soup (11)"
Jasper, though in his mid-forties, had never been on a date before. Had always lived with his Grandma until she passed, leaving him a collection of Hawaiian shirts, some old-printed Savings Bonds, and Boxer the cat--better than bubkes. He had loved Grandma so much, and even though she had passed on--he wrote her letters of adoration everyday in his bizarre diary, for she had been the only biological family the man had ever known. Anyway, he called his boss Buster, the tall and handsomely blonde Icelander over for some dating advice. Buster was astonished that the reclusive Jasper would ask for anything, yet happy to see that the weird, little man was coming out of his teenage turtle shell. Hopefully, this would be a great New Year for the dude, and he would finally develop a Napoleon Dynamite Complex. So, the twosome sat in Jasper's garage-converted home, and even the Icelander was cold.
BUSTER
I can't believe you live like this dude. And you've never been on a date? What, are you a monk?
JASPER
Never got around to it--was always taking care of Grandma, and I have trouble evacuating my bowels in public. Have to go on newspaper like a dog, and on pseudo-sacred territory. But never the front page, for that would be strange.
BUSTER
What a confession. And I always knew you were a werewolf. That seems a werewolf thing to do--I mean crap while in a squat-like position, and on newspaper.
JASPER
Just tell me what I should wear boss?
BUSTER
Do you have any shirts besides those Hawaiian ones? No, wait! If she decided to go out with you, having always seen you in them; then, just wear one with plenty of flowers, like Magnum always did on that cool television show. Damn, you're a weird one.
JASPER
But I like to think I got some couth.
BUSTER
And a total will to be weird, but I think it comes natural to you. You are a true freak--in the most flattering of terms I mean.
Boxer the cat entered through his kitty door, giving Buster a suspicious look; next, meowed for some more albacore tuna and spicy mustard. Jasper obeyed his best friend.
Loup Soup (9) & (10)
"Loup Soup (9) & (10)"
As the snow had experienced a deliquesce, it allowed for motorcycle travel on the asphalt; moreover, the work day at the comic shop had culminated, Buster allowing Jasper to leave first, saying he would lock up since the dude with the cat had sold a vintage Flash comic, influencing the customer with suavity and cool composure, which transcends confidence--a flaw of most salesmen.
So, Jasper cranked the Ninja 300 to a rumbling-life; next, he darted towards the nearby gas station, grabbing some albacore and spicy mustard for Boxer and him, making his way to the dirty-blonde beauty from Toulon.
* * * *
Jasper had always kept to himself concerning the ladies; however, he decided to introduce himself to the lovely lady from Toulon, officially, by offering his name. And when she spoke--her accent was always flawless--very potent English. They stood apart from each other at check-out, him somewhat nervous, running a hand over his buzzed hair, but keeping his gray eyes open and focused.
JASPER
By the way--my name is Jasper. I have a cat. He likes albacore tuna and mustard--so do I. What's your name? How freaky am I?--he thought.
ALICIA
You're funny. My name is Alicia. I'm so glad you asked, and thank you for always tasting my pastries. I have some more for you to take home. And I'm a dog person, but cats can be cool.
JASPER
Well, it's nice that we officially know each other--kinda/sorta.
ALICIA
Friends are nice--if they're nice, and not out to get you.
JASPER
Tell me about it.
ALICIA
So, I think we should be friends.
Jasper and Alicia shared a smile with simple synergy.
Saturday, December 31, 2016
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