Catholic Joke Told By My Serbian Orthodox Pap

   
   "Catholic Joke Told By My Serbian Orthodox Pap"
   
   When I was merely sixteen years of age, I bolted from home due to bullies, driving an approximate 1,000 miles on the asphalt ballet of it all--from Little Rock to Richmond.  I did this numerous times, but my folks kept stealing me back, though I preferred the solace and harbor of safety my Grandparents did offer.  But I never scrubbed Grandma's floors, and I still feel guilty about it, even 30 years later.
   Anyway, my Pap was born of a Serbian immigrant named Dragan Radulovic.  He was Serbian Orthodox, though Grandma was Catholic.  He said the Pope made you eat fish on Fridays because his brother was a fisherman and it increased business.  But there was more.
   As I observed my Pap suck in on his Tareyton cigarette, armed with a two-part filter of fiber and activated charcoal, he exhaled this joke:
    A lady forgot her purse in the pew after Mass.  The Priest, later in the day, found it and looked through it for identification.  Unearthing it, he called her.  She arrived shortly and picked it up.  After handing it to her, the Priest said:  "You know--the Virgin Mary never smoked cigarettes."  The lady boldly looked the Priest in the eyes, replying:  "And Jesus Christ never drove a Cadillac."   

Obi-Wan and Mos Esiley

Separating the wheat from the chaff

   
   "Separating the wheat from the chaff"
   
   Some people become paralyzed by fear.  They claim to see intruders; next, paralysis of the senses; however, as Christ was always telling his Disciples:  "Fear Not!"  Too, He will come and separate the wheat from the chaff, burning the chaff with eternal fire.  But as long as the six-pack is cold and reality television continues, along with the false testimony of mainstream media--nobody cares.
   Plenty of people are threatened.  Or their family member are.  Teach them Pineal Intrusion; plus, how to know them by their fruits, putting on the armor of immortality.  We are ready to fight.  To knock some over-sized craniums into the dirt, or however it goes.
   You don't mix up dogs, cats, squirrels, snakes, and so on--so forget the cotton candy dream of everyone living together in harmony.  That is a false dream.  The true dream is to be united to God, always knowing--he protects the innocent; thus, repent, truly--and exile yourself from sin.  Be blameless.
   But with Internet porn, forged and false testimony, pride in passing achievements--we are being enslaved and weakened.  Numbers and size don't matter--Sun Tzu knew this, as did the Ninja, and King David, the regally royal bard motivated to fear no angel or giant, but only God Himself, letting God be his power source to slay tens of thousands.  
   So, fear not.  And if they get to your loved ones; next, get to them!  King David further saying angels aren't that much tougher.  And there are many forms of combat.  And we now have politicians in place unwilling to submit to fear.
   Love God first.  Serve God first.  And Light Yourself Up!  Believing, like a child trusting in his father.         

Consecration to the Virgin

   
   "Consecration to the Virgin"
   
You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you;
Thus, smokes the Word of God, like a pack of 1980's True Blue;
Moreover, believe like a child as did St. Louis de Montfort of France,
Consecrating yourself to Mary; as a result, giving Christ a better chance--
To live in thee,
For Her soul doth aggrandize the Lord,
Inflating Jesus as the physician Luke wrote--his quill more potent than the average sword,
And when you see the Son of Man coming down from the Clouds of Heaven,
He will be accompanied by the sublimity of stalwart levin.  

Loup Soup (19)

   
   "Loup Soup (19)"
   
   Alicia was meeting with Jasper today at the comic shop.  Had just given herself a "bob" haircut, not having the money for a beautician or basic barber.  She figured if Joan of Arc could do it--so could she, her being from Toulon and knowing that Saint Joan's haircut inspired the "bob" around 1909 in Paris.  
   She wasn't nervous about what Jasper would think.  Knew he liked courage.  And what is more courageous than a chick with short hair?  An involution of the self to outshine the fibs and lies of an adder-inspired desire for beauty; next, if you don't have it--envy.  Unless united to the Sacred Heart, which is an Anomalous Phenomenon, unless your Ninjutsu Rabbi teaches well.    
   So, after piloting her economically-inclined automobile to the comic shop--she boldly yet humbly entered, armed with her new fashion of dirty-blonde, having a cosmogony of rebirth, really wanting a man's sincere love after so many mistakes in her past, that she had confessed, bringing into the light, only ashamed that she had once hid in the darkness.
   Jasper spotted her, and a Han Solo grin spread across his face, for he had found his Chewbacca, so to speak, with a little less hair.   

Loup Soup (18) Superpositioning

   
   "Loup Soup (18) Superpositioning"
    
   Alicia's heart was ablaze with the most intense part of the flame--to do her Earthly duties, even if it meant being ashed to death, for she knew--she would rise like a Phoenix, as has Joan of Arc.
   Moreover, she didn't want to get into Jasper's head by way of lust, or Pineal Intrusion, or even true love.  She would only send out her innocent love to him, gently.
   Like the two thieves on the Crosses next to the Living Christ, one mocking Him, the other asking to be with Him--Christ responded to the latter:  "Today, you will be with Me in Paradise."
   Some say Christ descended into hell after being crucified; thus, how could He take the man to Paradise?  So, we get many theological theories on Abraham's Bosom, Purgatory, and so forth.  The old, Catholic joke goes:  "There are so many places to go when you die if you're Catholic, you don't need Christ, but you need a travel agent."
   But even though a mere gas station clerk, and a job is not who you truly are, Alicia knew that with SUPERPOSITIONING, something or someone can be in multiple places at once; hence, she as a Catholic knew God is a mystery, and as King Solomon knows:  "It is God's glory to conceal things, and a King's glory to seek them out."
   As a result of her autodidact-like energy, Alicia simply crossed the threshold of hope, believing that she could and would always take care of bizarre Jasper.  

Sleepsong - UCD Choral Scholars feat. Emily Doyle