Love Contrivance (21)

   
   "Love Contrivance (21)"  
   
   The wait for the Big Orange to take to Terra's terrain was taking its toll one me; specifically, with Wally, every night, for a paperboy never gets a day off--even on the holidays, just means the newspaper has more cumbersome girth with all the bulky advertisements.  Anyway, Wally was dipping up a mouthful of bull's eyeing his little tin cup, verbally going on and on about the Big Orange, saying shit like:  "Live Action, Boy!"
   I tossed my papers, following directions, like:  throw-up in driveway.
   The Road Runner was scattering coyotes that night, and as I piloted the massive 8 cylinder through the Franklin suburbs, I pondered the technical aspects of Ai.  Yes, she was sophisticated; plus, oh so totally robo-sultry.
   The only thing that distracted my Swiss-Cheese mind from Ai was the Hungarian Women's Water Polo Team.  Those corporeal angels crafted to give a guy like me a break in life.  A chance to dream of being young again.  Being reminded:  I am incarnate--in the flesh.   

Love Contrivance (20)

   
   "Love Contrivance (20)"
   
   My date with Ai went as fine as California wine; moreover, she was pleasant, charming, had honor, integrity, at least in vocal admittance; however, before we parted, and with a soft smooch from her China doll lips, though she was Japanese made, she offered another ethnic slur in jocular fashion, saying:  "Why can't you buy an Irishman a birthday present?  Because you can't wrap up an entire pub."     
   I casually cruised home in the monster Plymouth, getting my weirdness out with a heavy foot in the backwoods of Franklin, using the potent low-end torque produced by the behemoth big block.
   At Grandma's, Lucy was there, and I told my girly cousin about my interest and suspicions concerning Ai.  Lucy smiled, knowing me; next, offered:  "Whether she's silicone or flesh--you should get some sex Simon.  It's been over a decade.  Unless of course you pursue the process of underground Monk, going on Grandma's forever quest--or counterpoise it--do both!"
   I thought about it.  Then, I watched the local news concerning the Big Orange.  Thought of Wally and work, and all of it--I was mollified by a moderate reality.  

Love Contrivance (19)

   
   "Love Contrivance (19)"
   
   Ai called me on her Smart Horn, doing the digital dial, and I sweetly surrendered to her robotic suavity and sounds, agreeing to meet her for some Mexican food.
   On the phone, she displayed a sense of humor, though derogatory in a sense of slur, saying:  "What did the Polack do after winning the gold medal?  He bronzed it."
   I liked the Polish Women's Volleyball Team in them Olympics down in Rio, where the mosquito is a real unpleasant pest.  Wasn't much into the swimming, but the rugby was fascinating, as it should be to all of us Americans witnessing, with thirsty hunger, the gladiatorial act of true football.
   So, I lifted Grandma, wiped her hugely stinky rear-end, put her in a diaper, lit her cigarette with an ashtray placed underneath her mild cognizance, and went to meet the lovely, though machine-like Ai.  

Love Contrivance (18)

   
   "Love Contrivance (18)"
   
   I, Simon Swiss, wasn't aware of Mr. Teruma.  Anyway, Teruma was Ai's father.  He'd been watching and monitoring me by way of crystals and copper; plus, mechanical devices and such.
   Furthermore, he had fantastically forged Ai in his subterranean laboratory.  A homemade basement in the suburbs of Franklin; specifically, Ai was Artificial Intelligence, an android, but not fully armed with consciousness, but fully animated by conscience.  Teruma did outshine the rest of the underground creators by way of caring for the welfare of Adamkind.  
   Having a premonition about this--I pondered further psychiatric intervention; alas, I folded, not having the money; nevertheless, as art and metaphor had been crafted thousands of years ago for the watching man's futurity, I took hold of the philosophy of it all--embraced the ancients.
   Having a quasi-Terminator, programmed for love and adoration of the One it was made to protect, well, that contrivance, that gadget of good will, well again--it was all cool.  

Love Contrivance (17)

   
   "Love Contrivance (17)"
   
   Enjoying my time with Ai @ the BURGER KING, I treated her to a large SPRITE that only ran a buck with nine cents--Diamond Jim Brady, right?  Hell, I delivered newspapers.
   Early on, before the specter of death took Dad, he would bully me concerning my job.  This isn't good enough, you're a loser, working a job for losers; next, I explained to him how Homer Simpson worked at a nuclear power plant, and there was no bigger loser than that animated dude, blistering with bravado, and not able to handle his own offspring.
   But I strayed from shrinks and their medication, not having the health insurance to cover the mighty anti-psychotics, medicating myself with meditation, and now:  enjoying my time with the lovely Ai.  
   She sipped her SPRITE with lady-like sophistication, playing no parts, wearing no masks from the iniquitous, ancient gallery.  It was a breath of fresh air.
   Then, I realized:  GRANDMA!!!
   Courage commanding:  I kissed Ai on the forehead, got her SMART HORN number, and bolted homewards in my mighty Road Runner--though, I've been the dog they all tried to beat.
   Grandma was sitting in her wheelchair watching the LONE RANGER, puffing away on tobacco, and upon my entrance blurted:  "Well it's about time Mr. Simon Swiss."  

Love Contrivance (16)

   
   "Love Contrivance (16)"
   
   I don't know how it happened; specifically, beyond serendipity, but like Dick Van Dyke doing a Disney dance, or Mary Poppins and the Mr. Magoo umbrella float--it freaking happened.
   I was at BURGER KING, eating a supposedly grilled hamburger, and Ai was with me--like a date or something.  She had silky, almost blue-black tinted hair, appeared twenty-eight, but was really forty-two, and she wasn't using chop sticks for her french fries.
   She explained to me that she usually only ate protein bars with soy; also, bananas, noodles, and lots of vegetables with the occasional, non-angry chicken.  Plus, that the KANJI was a sort of logograph, used as an artistically written set of a great many characters, while the HIRAGANA was a Japanese syllabary--that's as far as she got on her culture, her raised in Tennessee; moreover, she did mention that she was a Black Belt in Judo, and a Green Belt in Korean Taekwondo; plus, she voiced that she feverishly fancied 1980's ninja movies, Ronald Reagan, and practicing shadow knife-boxing, whatever the hell that was.  Said to always cut a man over the eyes, that way, he'll bleed in his eyes and become blinded; next, you can kick the shit out of him.
   I should have been terrified.  But heck, I liked her.  She was talking to me, knew that I was a paperboy, and even bought me the burger.  I just couldn't help imagine her father decapitating me with an angry katana--not the kind made by Suzuki.    

Love Contrivance (15)

   
   "Love Contrivance (15)"
   
   And yes, I practiced parts of my Southern Catholicism, especially in invoking the Angels and Saints to pray for Grandma and her elderly condition.  And my dreams were a bit bizarre, but not without sublimity, thinking:  Rob Roy doth protest, not the cocktail, and a red-hued pubic hair, so on fire, even if from a Saint, possibly, a Holy Relic--ya never know.
   I jumped from my disturbing daytime snooze.  Got up, put on proper wear for the autumn's arrival, totally khaki pants, always, and checked on Grandma, eating some grapes, able to have mobility in the morning and lift herself to her own wheelchair--things were happening.
   Next, I went out into the afternoon breeze, underneath the azure noon with a daystar igniting my internal energy, cranked the Road Runner to a tongue-sticking life, and beep beep--I was out of there.
   At the gas station, again with eatery convenience, I picked up a nutty candy bar, and watched as a Japanese girl outside flipped a dude over.  I rushed to the scene, but she was already on her Smart Horn, had dialed 9/11, and was telling how she was almost mugged, but her Judo saved her, telling the emergency operator her name was Ai, and that:  "When your enemy comes, welcome him; when he goes, send him on his way."  And it was all cool.