All My Children

   
   "All My Children"
   
   In college, an algebra teacher told me:  "Boy, you can either be here and do something with your life, or go home and watch ALL MY CHILDREN."  Susan Lucci spoke to me that day; as a result, I went home and watched ALL MY CHILDREN--worked for me.
   G. Gordon Liddy speaks to me, in the theater of my mind, is that illegal?  Regardless, he tells me:  "Mark, like me--you're vigorous, virile, and potent!!!"  Thanks GMAN.  But your genitalia is so much bigger than mine.  Then, I'm reminded of the Beach Boys--it's all good vibrations.  
   Took Mom to see the Virgin Mary statue today.  Don't tear Her down; the Queen of Angels doesn't have a sense of humor like me, schmoopy.  At least She didn't call me a schmekel.
   Live to love another day.  It's all in the reflexes, as a mighty truck driver might say.  Truck drivers have better reflexes than Navy SEALS.
   Go get them Trump.  Why the hell not.  We all got it coming.  Every man deserves his portion, and the kind man spills ten percent to the poor--I think.
  The difference between a Mercedes Benz and a cactus?  With a Mercedes, the prick is on the inside, you heard me schmekel.  This isn't even my house.  Yup, it's my Mom's.  And she loves me baby, just like Kojak.