Lawnmower Chimp

   
   "Lawnmower Chimp"
   
   She tells him he's the best at everything.  He looks soooo good for his age, though she has bigger dreams, like Large Marge.  As soon as his tongue starts hanging out of his mouth and he's drooling a massive fluidic river--she'll move him into a nursing home; next, become a silver girl, with all the other fatties, and the Lawnmower Chimp will be peeling bananas, just a head--he should've quit while he was still a head.
   And there's this neighborhood.  Maybe mine.  Maybe not.  Shadow people.  White wolves.  A UFO here and there; plus, you got the naughty nurse and sea hag, their poor husband, the only decent one, cutting his grass everyday just to get out of the house.  A shifty marsupial who likes to golf and go on alcoholic benders; plus, he practices voyeurism, watching the abused sexual champion go down on lovers, the mystical priests walking down the street, and everybody runs for cover, an old man with two six-guns who keeps an eye on an Arab that nobody ever sees, a goddamn Democrat too, a pseudo-Saint who thinks he's the reincarnation of Doc Holliday, a vampiric woman, and members of the Hebrew Tribe--one lady came running out of her house, screaming:  "This is the weirdest fucking neighborhood!!!"  It is, but own it.  Be who you are.  If you want to be a ballerina; next, morph into a stocking-covered dancer, giving us asphalt ballet--it's all good.
   This is America.  God Bless Her.  We got freaks, geeks, schmucks, schmoozers, losers, and a Wheaten Terrier here or there.  Don't be such a pussy.  God has a sense of humor--if not; then, why is 70% of life on Terra's turf a form of the beetle?  
   But remember Jack Kennedy kinda saying:  "The coldest part of hell is reserved for people who stayed neutral and didn't pick a side."