I'm so southern, I'm related to myself

   
   "I'm so southern, I'm related to myself"
   
   Yee-Haw, boy!  What, your only industry was cotton, and you were too lazy to pick it yourselves; thus, what were you gonna support your country on--making tampons?  Southern men still pick cotton when their wives go into a state of toxic shock.  
   Damn Yankees made American Great, back then.  Trump, crazy Yankee, and now--you're damn proud to be called a Yankee, boy.  
   I coyoted this headline from a blonde, female comedian--she knows who she is.  Yet, she's not the first, and she won't be the last.  We have plenty of comedy and tragedy to go through, as the bard knew well.
   Just laugh.  Don't be such a wussy.  I never started a fight.  Karma is a bitch.  And don't think I don't know, boy.  Still--prayers to you, but never Godspeed, unless you run mercurial to Christ.  Where would we be without morality?  All of us, pissing in the street.  Underhanded is not nice.  Better to be a heart-stabber than put the knife in the back.  And no strutting proudly like a peacock with a stick up your ass.  What, are you a freaking super-model?  Nope.     
   Damn, the Dodgers swept the Diamondbacks.  Way to go.  Not since 88' I ponder, ya'll . . .