Love Contrivance (13)

   
   "Love Contrivance (13)"
   
   Simon Swiss was like, to his darling cousin Lucy's lifetime existence-plan:  "We've all seen Elvis Presley in the film released around 1964, KISSIN' COUSINS; moreover, your husband and guard dogs wouldn't like a creepy cousin hanging around--though it might be fun.  But I can't leave Grandma; I can't give myself what I have left of a life, not if it means incarcerating her, where they give you bloody enemas and don't let you use tobacco products." 
   Did you just say that all in italics, how 1990's and  retro-like and cutely cliche, with them fingers up, really dude?  Yeah, Simon figured he could hear Lucy through a state of terrifying telepathy; nevertheless, what her corporeal mouth sweetly offered was:  "You're a nice old man Simon.  You always got Grandma and me.  Just don't lay the stress on--take Jumblers to the park and give her a bone, for every dog can have many days."